My Birth Control story. #mypillstory

Let's talk about birth control in all its wondrous forms!

But, before we get into this controversial topic, I would like to clear a few things up. My experiences with birth control are just that - my experiences. If you take birth control and it works for you, great! Don't change it! Everybody's body is different and the way we react to different things (food, medication, etc) is all very individual.

However, if you feel that your birth control has been messing with you, then maybe my story will give you the push to seek out different forms of birth control or look into what alternatives there are.

OK, with that said, let's get started.

I didn't start taking a BC pill until I was..... 20ish? At the time I felt like I was so far behind other girls and all this sex stuff was new to me - but looking back, it was damn blessing. I was in university when I got on my first birth control pill; I was put on Yaz. Yaz is a BC pill with both estrogen and progesterone. According to Rexall.com, it prevents both ovulation and also creates a SUPER MUCOUS BARRIER that prevents the egg from attaching to the wall of the uterus.

You know what it also did to me?

IT MADE ME DEPRESSED AND INSANE.

(It also made my eating disorder a million times worse. So, I was a bulimicx1000 when I was on this pill.)

The thing that makes me upset about this time in my life, was I was completely unaware the the BC was affecting my emotional well-being. I initially went on BC because I have endometriosis and terrible cramps and blood loss...and also university sex. So, I was trying to fix my physical symptoms and not have a kid, and the doctor was just like, "Here, take this pill. Here's a pamphlet! Read through the fine-print. See ya!"

But no one reads through the fine print. No one.

So, I was on Yaz for....I would say, 2 years? And my moods were just everywhere. Up, down, sideways. I was emotionally unstable - at points, so depressed I was suicidal and other times, apathetic and complete uncaring. I was reckless with my health - I smoked cigarettes, had unprotected sex, drank until I passed out on the street, etc. Along with that, my boobs were huge and hard and I gained a ton of water weight. One guy I was seeing grabbed my boobs and asked me if I'd gotten implants, that's how big they'd gotten.

I was a hot mess.

But I just thought that was just who I was now. I never put 2-and-2 together because I was unaware of the emotional/mental affects of birth control.

As soon as I finished university, I stopped taking Yaz. I did this because...well, I couldn't afford it anymore (Yeah government, I'm -that- statistic!). I was broke, I didn't have a job, and I was living with my parents.

The change in my emotions was drastic. Finally, I felt like myself again. I wasn't always happy, but I could control my emotions. My eating disorder got A LOT better. My emotions were fairly steady. I started to plan to go to Korea, and worked towards it with vigor. I had goals again, and that felt so great. My PMS was bad, but not terrible. My cramps were terrible, but almost worth it.

Fast forward to my next round of BC.

Wanting to be a responsible sexual being, I decided to go back on the pill. I'd since realized that Yaz had completely fucked me up, and I was really wary of going back on BC. I go to a WOMEN'S CLINIC, sit down with a doctor, and tell her that I would like to go on BC. I tell her what I was on before, tell her that it made me feel pretty damn crazy, and explain that I'm very wary of BC pills.

She puts me on Tri-Cyclen. Same shtick. She gives me a booklet filled with small-print.

Within days, I start to feel depressed. I don't feel like myself. My usually high sex drive tanks, and I can't imagine why I ever thought sex was something I enjoyed doing. I can't get wet during sex - my body is incapable of vag lubrication. I start crying at random intervals. I have a huge screaming match with my sister, which subsequently leads to me moving out a few months later. I can't concentrate, I'm apathetic about my job, and I just feel miserable.

After a few weeks, I stop taking them. Again, I feel instantly happier. It's like the sun finally comes out.

I wait for a few more months. My cramps are tearing me up, along with worsening PMS. What's a girl to do?

OH I KNOW. STICK HORMONAL BC UP MY HOO-HA.

That's right, folks. I decided to take a shot with the Mirena IUD. I read through the raving reviews - "It only gives you localized hormones! It will stop your period! It will stop your mood swings! This is the new JC of hormonal BC."

Mistakes. Were. Made.

I get the Mirena IUD inserted at an abortion clinic/IUD center. The insertion hurts a bit, but it feels more like my normal cramps so I don't pass out or anything. I'm lucky that C comes with me, holds my hand.

It takes 3 days before I can barely walk. The cramps are so severe, I can't walk on a treadmill at the gym. My emotions are completely flat or I'm crying. And yes, I'm crying because of advertisements and Youtube videos....or anything else. I have no energy. I'm also bleeding, bleeding, bleeding. My hair starts falling out in large handfuls. I run my hands through my hair, and clumps and clumps of my hair come out.

I phone the clinic and get their answering machine. Nobody ends up phoning me back.

So, eventually, I just take it out myself. It is not advised to do this - however, there are plenty of Youtube videos where women explain how they did it. Honestly, it didn't hurt at all, and INSTANTLY I felt better. I'm talking within 5 minutes, I felt a million times better. The pain was gone. My emotions were back. I had energy. C noticed the different pretty much instantly. "Wow, I'm so happy you're doing okay!" he said, relieved I was no longer crying in bed and staring out the window.

And now I'm no longer on BC, and I have no plans to experiment with my body/life again.

Yeah, you read that right. I've spent enough of my time suffering from BC that I refuse to do it. I'm lucky because I've got a regular period schedule, so now I just use the fertility awareness method. I've been doing this for nearly 2 years (between the times I was on BC), and so far, so good. Plus, I'm not messing with my moods and my body and my hormones. I still have to deal with HELLISH periods and PMS, but at least I know that's "real". It's not a direct cause of taking a pill. My sex drive is nice and high (where I like it!), my skin is fine, my hair and nails are FINALLY growing again, etc. My body is back in equilibrium.

So, what should you take away from all of this.

Women! Be aware of what is happening to your body and moods. If you used to love sex and now you can't stand the thought of it, check your BC pills. If you're gaining weight for no reason, check your BC pills. If you used to be a bright, happy person and now you feel like you're gloomy or depressed, check your BC pills. Balanced hormones are so important, and adding something like the wrong BC can have a serious affect on you. BC can fuck up your life in insidious ways. Pay attention so you don't have to go through what I've been through.

Are you on BC now or have you been on it in the past? How do you feel about BC? Have you had any negative side effects from your BC? Do you have a nightmare BC story you want to share? Comment below!