You are not a victim. (You're really, really not!)

A few days ago, I was having a conversation with a co-worker and it went something like this.

Me: "I think I need a new job. I'm really bored. I don't like coming in to work any more. I desperately need a change."

Co-worker: "Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm really bored, too. This company is the worst."

Me: "Well, I guess I have no one else to blame but myself."

Co-worker: "What do you mean? It's not our fault this company is so bad!"

Me: "But, it's my fault I'm still working here. I mean, I should be out there looking for jobs! It's not the company's responsibility to cater to me. If I don't like this - which I don't! - then I need to start looking at other options at this point. Why haven't I been doing that? I guess I've just been too caught up with school. Now that I'm done though, I need to start looking for something else ASAP."

Co-worker: "Well, yeah, I guess...but you can still hate our company. It's their fault you're so miserable at work."

This conversation kind of just highlighted something that I've noticed. And guess what? I'm guilty of it, just as much as anyone else. I can be the most whiny, obnoxious human being sometimes (ask my boyfriend!). I can have a pity party like it's nobody's business when I want to (especially after a glass or two of wine!)

But you know what I've noticed about life? That being a victim gets you absolutely no where. You can complain that there's no food on the table and the roof is leaking and you're broke. You can complain that there are no good men or women in the dating scene. You can complain that you're too fat or drink too much or too out of shape. You can complain you hate your job, your life, your friends, your significant other. Sure, you can do all of those things.

It just won't -do- anything.

It gives you absolutely no power, no agency, no abilities. When you resort to this, guess what? It says you're weak and incapable. It takes all the power you have, and it throws it into the gutter. It says, "I'm not responsible for my life. I'm not responsible for making my life better, someone else is."

And that's false. You're the -only person living your life.- Let that sink in a minute. You are the ONLY person living your life. The world isn't obligated to care about you, unfortunately. The world isn't some magical place where you complain upon a star and a fairy godmother appears and gives you a nice car, house, 6 figure salary and a fulfilling job.

So, take responsibility for your life. Take responsibility for the things you can control. Sit down, make a list of the things you wish were better in your life....and then make a game plan. Cut big goals into small chunks. As the African proverb goes, "You eat an elephant one bite at a time." You don't like your job? Start out by sending out 2 resumes a day. You don't like the dating scene? Stop Tindering and find a hobby/team you go to once a week. You don't like how you look? Go to the gym 2 or 3 times a week or make a healthy meal plan for the week.

A nice small perk of taking responsibility for your life, aside from getting what you're now lacking, is that you'll feel stronger. Knowing that no matter what the world throws at you, you can change your situation, will give you strength and conviction. You'll know that you will be able to persevere and overcome, and that energy will flow into your life. As soon as you start taking responsibility for your life, your life will change and it will be magical.

Almost as magical as if a fairy godmother floated into your life.

There are always ways to make things better. So, damnit, stop being a victim, get back your power, make a plan and go forward.