Do Something New Together. Seriously.
Relationships are hard work.
No, they are. They really are. I feel like my boyfriend and I are very compatible....but that doesn't mean there aren't times where we're both working to keep it functional and healthy. That's just the nature of the beast. Two people can't live together/exist together, without there being disagreements and hard shit sometimes.
The past few weeks have been hard; mostly because of where I've been mentally (hint: not a great place). My boyfriend has been an absolute saint after all has been said and done - and now that we made it through all that, we're back to our normal goofy, fun relationship. It was a waiting game, and we waited out the storm.
So, what did we do to celebrate?
Today, we decided to go hiking at a provincial park. We spent a few hours catching up - talking casually about our interests, and just walking in a comfortable silence. It was nice. It was easy. It was a really beautiful park, with great views and a fairly interesting trail. And yesterday we went to a park and played soccer and went for a quick walk. We spent the night goofing around - tackling each other, laughing, chasing after each other. We laughed a lot.
And that lead me to thinking about this post.
I think one of the reasons C and I get along so well, is because we do things together. And no, not boring things. We make an effort to go out in the world and experience things as a team. He often tells me that that's one of the things he likes most about me - I introduce him to new things to do. And that's one of the things I like most about him - he's always willing to explore the world with me. You learn so much about your partner when you get out of your comfort zone.
C and I are getting to the point in our relationship/living arrangement where it gets easy to become complacent. It's hard not to just want to stay home, put on sweatpants, and hang out in front of Youtube. In fact, I was talking to one of my friends on Friday and I said, "Why would I want to go out? What's outside? All of my favorite things are at my house - boyfriend, food, bed, computer."
But, I think getting out is INTEGRAL to keeping a relationship alive. That's right. If you're not doing fun, interesting things with the love of your life....you're going to start feeling resentful. If everything is hard and boring and habitual, then your relationship is going to start to feel more like a job. At least, for me it does.
So, go out with your favorite person. Leave your house. Leave your sweatpants and all that seriousness at the door. It doesn't have to be something super expensive....hell, it can be free. The whole point is that you need to GET OUT and do something new. That's it. Unless you've done it all (and are therefore, God), there should be -something- you can find
A few things C and I have done together:
1. Yoga - Yes, even though C has never done it before. He was a trooper and for Valentine's Day he came and yoga'd with me. It was really fun, kinda funny, and a good way to connect. Plus, relaxing and healthy.
2. A Concert - We both like the same kinda music (....EDM....) so we went to a concert with my sister and his friends. It was awesome. Dancing together in a crowd full of people was intense and awesome. ALSO, great to have a companion to box out when you're being crushed.
3. Ribfest - There was a huge Ribfest close to his place, so we walked over there and ordered a huge rack of ribs. Then ate them. All of them. No ragrets.
4. The Swimming Pool - This was ridiculously fun and silly. We pretty much acted like little kids. We went on the slides, diving board, and played Ping-pong. I got lots of water piggybacks which is really my favorite thing.
5. Food Convention - We went to a gluten-free food convention, and walked around and ate all the samples we could. I think we also bought some delicious home made food? It was good few glutinousness hours.
6. Camping - Headed out of town with some food and swim clothes. We had a blast. Lots of swimming was involved and a campfire and marshmallows.
7. Hiking, hiking, hiking - We've done a lot of different little hikes around our city (but our city is kind of known for that...). It's our thing. It's really fun to find cool new places and it's nice and active.
8. Sex Convention - Yes, exactly what it sounds like! There was a big Sex Expo here, and we ended up buying tickets. It was really fun, interesting, and good way to spice up our sex life.
9. Farm - We went and grabbed ice cream at an organic ice cream parlour where there were a bunch of cows, goats, and chickens. Nothing is cuter than seeing a bunch of baby animals. Honestly.
10. Interesting restaurants/bars - We've gone to some really interesting bars/restaurants. We went to one that was filled with boardgames. We went to bar covered with bras on the walls and peanuts on the floor. We've gone to Irish pubs, big indie breweries, and everything between.
These are just a few of the things we've done together - and honestly, we're going to be doing a few different things this summer (a 5km EDM run, a concert, a trip to Toronto filled with lots of cool new activities, indoor rock climbing).
Just get out there. Don't get complacent. Don't let your relationship become 95% work and 5% fun. It's not sustainable. It's not healthy. Have fun together and you'll see instant benefits.
So, what are some things that you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/FWB have done? Where have you gone? What have you seen? Please, please, please leave a comment below! I would love to hear from you.