How to tell if someone loves you.


Love is an action.

Yes, I'm sure you've heard that before. We all have.

The thing is...if you don't forget this, you'll always be able to tell if someone loves you. In fact, it makes things crystal clear.

If the person you are dating/married to/in love with doesn't act like they love you, then they don't.

Now, I know you're shaking your head and thinking, "Well thanks for nothing, Cass. That doesn't help me at all."

Now, wait a moment. Think about it.

How someone treats you is entirely indicative of if they love you. That means that you have a tangible way of measuring if someone loves you...and probably how much. 

If the person who claims to love you does the following things, they probably don't love you:

Blows you off, ignores you, doesn't listen to you, only talks about their own life, never compromises, never spends time with you, doesn't help you, doesn't trust you, cheats on you, flirts with other people, doesn't have sex with you, physically abuses you, makes everything your fault, lies to you, purposefully sabotages your life, constantly insults you, doesn't want to spend time with you, doesn't act happy for you, forgets about you, never contacts you, doesn't want to commit to you, doesn't respect your boundaries, or threatens you.

When you're in a relationship with someone, the two of you will never agree on everything. Humans aren't made that way. There will always be disagreements - that's life. And that initial insane spark of New Relationship Energy™ will also slowly dwindle because unfortunately, most relationships aren't a 50 Shades of Grey novel for years and years on end. Life gets in the way of non-stop foreplay and kinky public sex.

With that said, someone who loves you will treat you with respect. They will care about if you're having a bad day. They will want to spend their time with you. They will want to compromise on the hard stuff. They will want you to be happy. They will want to be intimate with you (whatever that means to the two of you). They will help you when you need it.

You will be able to SEE their love for you. It will be obvious by their actions.

So, if you're wondering if your SO loves you, stop for a minute and think about the past 6 months. How have they treated you?

And yes, I get it. People are not perfect. You're not perfect. Your SO isn't perfect. You both will not always be the best people to each other. But....a majority of the time, you both should be treating each other like you love them. And if that's not the case, then perhaps you've both fallen out of love. It's time to acknowledge that and deal with it. You can fall back in love...but only if you admit that you're not in love anymore. You can't fix a problem without first acknowledging there's one there to begin with. Also, both people need to be on board. As with all things in relationships, both people need to work together to make it work.

So, that's it. That's how you tell if someone is love with you.

You just look at their actions.